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I. Vocação
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(p. 37)
CHAPTER II
THE INITIATION
MY visit to the rectory resulted in an intimacy which made me to such extent
a member of the family as to remove all obstacles to the collaboration required
of us. It was soon made evident that not only our association, but her design of
seeking a medical education was for both of us an indispensable element in our
preparation for our now recognised joint-mission. In its general aspect that
mission had for its purpose the overthrow of Materialism, and in order to
qualify us for it, it was deemed necessary that we undergo a training in the
most materialistic of the world's schools. This was the
(p. 38)
constitute an
impassable barrier, but both were opened to view, and the latter was as real and
accessible as the former.
It was about the middle of 1876 that these remarkable accession of faculty began
to manifest itself in plenitude, I being the first to experience it,
notwithstanding my previews total lack of any faculty of the kind, or of belief
in the possibility of my having it. But the purification which my physical
system had undergone by means of my new dietary regimen, and the constant and
intense direction of my thought inwards and upwards, the forcible concentration
of my mind upon the essential and substantial ideas of things, and this under
impulsion of an enthusiasm kindled to a white heat – and enthusiasm, as already
said, both of aspiration and of repulsion – and the enhancement of faculty
through sympathetic association, – these had so attenuated the veil that it no
longer impeded my vision of spiritual realities. And I found myself – without
seeking for or expecting it – spiritually sensitive in respect of sight,
hearing, and touch, and in open, palpable relations with a world which I had no
difficulty in recognising as of celestial nature; so far did it transcend
everything of which I had heard or read in the annals of the contemporary
spiritualism; so entirely did it accord with my conceptions of the divine.]
That I refrain from employing the terms “supernatural” and “superhuman,” is
because they assume the knowledge of the limits of the natural and the human,
and arbitrarily exclude from those categories regions of being which may really
belong to them. The celestial and the divine are not necessarily either
superhuman or supernatural;
(p. 39)
they may be but the
higher human and the higher natural. If they are at all, they are according to
natural order, and it is natural for them to be.
Nevertheless, vast as was the interval it represented between my past and
present states, it came so naturally and easily as to be clearly the result, not
of any abnormal or accidental cataclysm envolving a breach of continuity, but of
a perfectly orderly unfoldment every step of which was distinctly traceable. For
though the process was akin to that of the attainment of sight by one previously
blind, and the final issue was sudden, the issue had been led up to in such wise
as to render it legitimate and normal. For its earliest indication (1)
was an opening of the mind in such wise that subjects hitherto beyond my grasp,
and problems deemed insoluble, became comprehensible and clear; while whole
vistas of thought perfectly continuous and coherent, would disclose themselves
to my view, stretching far away towards their source in the very principles of
things, so that I found myself intellectually the master of questions which
previously had baffled me.
The experience I am about to relate was not only remarkable in itself, it was
remarkable also as striking what proved to be the keynote of all our subsequent
work, the doctrine, namely, of the substantial identity of God and man.
It had suddenly flashed on my mind as a necessary and self-evident truth, the
contrary of which was absurd; and I had seated myself at my writing-table to
give it expression for a book I had lately
(p. 40)
commenced. (1)
I was alone and locked in my room in my chambers of Pall Mall, Mrs. Kingsford
being at the time in
The passage I had been writing concluded with these words: –
“The perfect man of any race is no other than the perfect expression in the
flesh of all the essential characteristics of the soul of that race. Escaping
the limitations of the individual man, such an one represents the soul of his
people. Escaping the limitations of the individual
(p.41)
people, he represents the soul of all peoples, or Humanity. Escaping the
limitations of Humanity, but still preserving its essential characteristics, he
represents the soul of the system of which the earth is but an individual
member. And finally, after climbing many a further step of the infinite ladder
of existence, and escaping the limitations of all systems whatever, he
represents – nay, finds that he is – the soul of the universe, even
God Himself, once ‘manifested in the flesh,’ and now ‘perfected through
suffering,’ ‘purified, sanctified, redeemed, justified, glorified,’ ‘crowned
with honour and glory,’ and ‘seated for ever at the right hand of the Father,’
‘one with God,’ even God Himself.”
At this moment – my mind being so wholly preoccupied with the utterance and all
that I saw it involved, as to make me oblivious of all else – the presence I had
felt bending over me darted itself into me just below the cerebral bulb at the
back of my neck, the sensation being that of a slight tap, as of a finger-touch;
and then in a voice full, rich, firm, measured, and so strong that resound
through the room, exclaimed, in a tone indicative of high satisfaction, “At last
I have found a man through whom I can speak!”
So powerful was the intonation that the tympana of my ears vibrated to the
sound, palpably bulging outwards showing that they had been struck on the inner
side, and that the presence had actually projected itself into my larynx and
spoken from within me, but without using my organs of speech. I was conscious of
being in radiant health at the time, and was unable to detect any symptom of
being otherwise. My thought, too, and observation were perfectly coherent and
continuous, and I could discern no smallest pretext of distrust of the
(p. 42)
reality of the experience. And my delight and
satisfaction, which were unbounded, found expression in the single utterance,
“Then the ancients were right, and the Gods are!” so resistless was the conviction that only by a
divinised being could the wisdom and power be manifested of the presence of
which I was conscious. The words, “At last I have found a man” were incompatible
with the theory of its being an objectivation of my own particular ego, and,
moreover, they indicated the speaker as one high in authority over the race.
Nothing more passed on that occasion; but a vivid impression was left with me
that my visitant belonged to the order of spirits called “Planetaries.” But as I
had then no knowledge of such beings, I put aside the question of his identity
for the solution which I trusted would come of further enlightenment. This came
in due time, with the result of confirming the impression given me at the time.
The explanation, however, does not come within the scope of this present
writing. Some time afterwards, when searching at the library of the British
Museum in the writings of the old occultists for experiences analogous to our
own, I came upon one account which described the entrance into the man of an
overshadowing spirit exactly as it had occurred to me, so far as it concerned
the nape of the neck as the point of entry and the slightness of the sensation.
The only further reference to the incident necessary here is as follows.
A little later Mrs. Kingsford had returned to
(p. 43)
The first experience received by her in relation to our work, after her return
to
On bringing it to me on the morning of its occurrence, she exclaimed as she
entered the room, “Oh, I have had such a terrific dream! It has quite shattered
me. And I have brought it for you to try and find its meaning, if it has one. I
wrote it down the moment I was able.” Her appearance fully confirmed her
statement. It alarmed me. This is the account: –
“I was visited, last night, by a dream of so strange and vivid a kind that I
feel impelled to communicate it to you, not only to relieve my own mind of the
oppression which the recollection of it
(p. 44)
causes me, but also to give you an opportunity of finding the meaning,
which I am still far too much shaken and terrified to seek for myself.
“It seemed to me that you and I were two of a vast company of men and women,
upon all of whom, with the exception of myself – for I was there voluntarily –
sentence of death had been passed. I was sensible of the knowledge – how
obtained I know not – that this terrible doom had been pronounced by the
official agents of some new reign of terror. Certain I was that none of the
party had really been guilty of any crime deserving of death; but that the
penalty had been incurred through their connection with some regime, political,
social, or religious, which was doomed to utter destruction. It became known
among us that the sentence was about to be carried out on a colossal scale; but
we remained in absolute ignorance as to the place and method of the intended
execution. Thus far my dream gave me no intimation of the scene which next burst
on me, – a scene which strained to their utmost tension every sense of sight,
hearing, and touch in a manner unprecedented in any dream I have previously had.
“It was night, dark and starless, and I found myself, together with the whole
company of doomed men and women who knew that they were soon to die, but not how
or where, in a railway train hurrying through the darkness to some unknown
destination. I sat in a carriage quite at the rear end of the train, in a corner
seat, and was leaning out of the open window, peering into the darkness, when,
suddenly, a voice, which seemed to speak out of the air, said to me in a low,
distinct,
(p.
45)
intense tone, the mere recollection of which makes me shudder, – ‘The
sentence is being carried out even now. You are all of you lost. Ahead of the
train is a frightful precipice of monstrous height, and at its base beats a
fathomless sea. The railway ends only with the abyss. Over that will the train
hurl itself into annihilation. THERE IS NO ONE ON THE ENGINE!'
“At this I sprang from my seat in horror, and looked round at the faces of the
persons in the carriage with me. No one of them had spoken, or had heard those
awful words. The lamplight from the dome of the carriage flickered on the forms
about me. I looked from one to the other, but saw no sign of alarm given by any
of them. Then again the voice out of the air spoke to me, – 'There is but one
way to be saved. You must leap out of the train!'
“In frantic haste I pushed open the carriage-door and stepped out on the
footboard. The train was going at a terrific pace, swaying to and fro as with
the passion of its speed; and the mighty wind of its passage beat my hair about
my face and tore at my garments.
“Until this moment I had not thought of you, or even seemed conscious of your
presence in the train. Holding tightly on to the rail by the carriage-door, I
began to creep along the footboard towards the engine, hoping to find a chance
of dropping safely down on the line. Hand-over-hand I passed along in this way
from one carriage to another; and as I did so I saw by the light within each
carriage that the passengers had no idea of the fate upon which they were being
hurried. At
(p. 46)
length, in one of the compartments, I saw you. ‘Come out!' I cried;
'come out! Save yourself! In another minute we shall be dashed to
pieces!’
“You rose instantly, wrenched open the door, and stood beside me outside on the
footboard. The rapidity at which we were going was now more fearful than ever.
The train rocked as it fled onwards. The wind shrieked as we were carried
through it. 'Leap down!' I cried to you.
'Save yourself! It is certain death to stay here. Before us is an abyss;
and there is no one on the engine!'
“At this you turned your face full upon me with a look of intense earnestness,
and said, 'No, we will not leap
down; we will stop the train.'
“With
these words you left me, and crept along the footboard towards the front of the
train. Full of half-angry anxiety at what seemed to me a Quixotic act, I
followed. In one of the carriages we passed I saw my mother and eldest brother,
unconscious as the rest. Presently we reached the last carriage, and saw by the
lurid light of the furnace that the voice had spoken truly, and that there was
no one on the engine.
“You continued to move onwards. 'Impossible!
Impossible!' I cried; 'it cannot be done. Oh, pray, come away!'
“Then you knelt upon the footboard, and said,
'You are right. It cannot be done in that way; but we can save the train.
Help me to get these irons asunder.'
“The engine was connected with the train by two great iron hooks and staples. By
a tremendous effort, in making which I almost lost my balance, we unhooked the
irons and detached the train; when, with a mighty leap as of some mad
supernatural
(p. 47)
monster, the engine sped on its way alone, shooting back as it went a
great flaming trail of sparks, and was lost in the darkness. We stood together
on the footboard, watching in silence the gradual slackening of the speed. When
at length the train had come to a standstill, we cried to the passengers,
'Saved! Saved!' And then, amid the confusion of opening the doors and descending
and eager talking, my dream ended, leaving me shattered and palpitating with the
horror of it.”
This vision was intended to show us the destruction, moral, intellectual, and
spiritual, towards which the world was tending by following materialistic modes
of thought, and the part we were to bear in arresting its progress towards the
fatal precipice, at all hazards to ourselves. The startling announcement made to
her by the invisible voice when the crowded train was rushing at full speed to
its doom, “There is no one on the engine!” exactly represented the philosophy
which, denying mind in the universe, recognises only blind force.
I had determined to include an account of this vision in the book on which I was
then engaged, England and Islam. And I was alone in my rooms, reading the
proofs of it, my mind being occupied solely with the letterpress, until I came
to the remark ascribed to me in the vision, as made in reply to her entreaty
that I would jump out with her to save ourselves, “No, we will not leap down, we
will stop the train.” At this moment the voice which shortly before
(1) had said to me, “At last I have found a man through whom I can
speak!” addressed me again, saying in a pleased
(p. 48)
and encouraging tone, as if the speaker had been
following me in my reading, and desired to remove any doubts I might have of the
reality of our mission, – “Yes! Yes! I have trusted all to you!” This time he
spoke from without me, but apparently quite close by. And among the impressions
which at the same instant were flashed into my mind, was the impression,
amounting to a conviction, that whatever might be the part assigned to others in
the work of the new illumination in progress and the restoration thereby to the
world of one true doctrine of existence, the exposition of its innermost and
highest sphere, the head corner-stone of the pyramid of the system which is to
make the humanity of the future, had been committed to us alone. And now,
writing nearly twenty years later, I can truly say that this conviction has
never for a moment been weakened, but on the contrary has gathered confirmation
and strength with every successive accession of experience and knowledge, and
while cognisant of and fully appreciating all that has taken place in the
unfoldment of the world's thought during the interval.
Ever since that memorable winter of 1876-7, the conviction, shared equally by my
colleague, has been with me that the controlling spirit of the Hebrew prophets
was that also of our work, the purpose of which was the accomplishment of their
prophecies, by the promotion of the world's spiritual consciousness to a level
surpassing any yet attained by it, to the regeneration of the church and the
establishment of the kingdom of God with power. Having which conviction, there
was for us but one object in life: – to fulfil at
(p.
49)
whatever cost to ourselves the conditions
necessary to make us fitting instruments for the perfect accomplishment of a
work which we recognised as the loftiest that could be committed to mortals.
My colleague's enforced return to London was promptly signalised by an
experience which served not only yet further to demonstrate the reality and
nature of our mission, and of her primacy in our work, but to disclose its
essentially Christian character, which hitherto had been an open question for
us. For that upon which we ourselves were bent was the discovery of the nature
of existence at first hand, and independently of any existing system whatever.
It was truth and truth alone that we sought, and to this end we had laboured to
make ourselves as those of whom it is said, “Of such is the kingdom of heaven.”
For in divesting ourselves of all prepossessions and prejudices, we had made
ourselves as “little children.” We were neither believers nor disbelievers, but
pure sceptics in that best sense of the term in which it denotes the unbiased
seeker after God and truth. This is to say, we were, and we gloried in being,
absolutely free thinkers, a term which, in its true acceptation, we regarded as
man's noblest title. This is the sense in which it denotes a thought able to
exercise itself in all directions open to thought, outwards and downwards to
matter and negation, and inwards and upwards to spirit and reality. And our work
proved in the event to be the supreme triumph of Free Thought.
The experience in question was as follows. It was night and I was alone and
locked in my chambers, and was writing at full speed, lest it
(p.
50)
should escape me, an exposition of the place and
office of woman under the coming regeneration. I was conscious of an exaltation
of faculty such as might conceivably be the result of an enhancement of my own
mind by junction with another and superior mind. I was even conscious, though in
a far less degree than before, of an invisible presence. But I was too much
engrossed with my idea to pay heed to persons, be they whom they might, human or
divine, as well as anxious to take advantage of such assistance. I had clearly
and vividly in my mind all that I desired to say for several pages on. Then,
suddenly and completely, like the stoppage of a stream in its flow through a
tube by the quick turning of a tap, the current of my thought ceased, leaving my
mind an utter blank as to what I had meant to say, and totally unable to recall
the least idea of it. So palpable was its withdrawal, that it seemed to me as if
it must still be hovering somewhere near me, and I looked up and impatiently
exclaimed aloud to it, “Where are you?” At length, after ransacking my mind in
vain, I turned to other work, for I was perfectly fresh, and the desertion had
been in no way due to exhaustion, physical or mental. On taking note of the time
of the disappearance, I found it was 11.30 precisely.
The next morning failed to bring my thought back to me as I had hoped it would
do; but it brought instead, an unusually early visit from Mrs. Kingsford, who
was – as I have said – staying in
(p. 51)
though it was late I was not inclined to rest,
for I was wakeful with a sense of irritation at the thought of what you are
doing, and at my exclusion from any share in it. And I was feeling envious of
your sex for the superior advantages you have over ours of doing great and
useful work. As I sat by the fire thinking this, I suddenly found myself
impelled to take a pencil and paper, and to write. I did so, and wrote with
extreme rapidity, in a half-dreamy state, without any clear idea of what I was
writing, but supposing it to be something expressive of my discontent. I had
soon covered a page and a half of a large sheet with writing different from my
own, and it was quite unlike what was in my mind, as you will see.”
On perusing the paper I found that it was a continuation of my missing thought,
taken up at the point where it had left me, but translated to a higher plane,
the expression also being similarly elevated in accordance both with the theme
and the writer, having the exquisiteness so characteristic of her genius. To my
enquiry as to the hour of the occurrence, she at once replied, “Half-past eleven
exactly; for I was so struck by it that I took particular notice of the time.”
What I had written was as follows: –
“Those of us who, being men, refuse to accord to women the same freedom of
evolution for their consciousness which we claim for ourselves, do so in
consequence of a total misconception of the nature and functions both of
Humanity and of Existence at large. The notion that men and women can by any
possibility do each other's work, is utterly absurd. Whom God hath
distinguished, none can confound. To do the same thing is not to do the same
work; inasmuch as the spirit is more than the fact, and the spirit of man and of
woman is different.
(p.
52)
While for the production of perfect results it is necessary that they
work harmoniously together, it is necessary also that they fulfil separate
functions in regard to that work”. (1)
This was the point at which my thought had failed me, to be taken up by her at
the same instant two miles away, without her knowing even that I contemplated
treating that particular theme, as I had purposely reserved it until I should
have completed the expression, hoping to give her a pleasant surprise; for it
was one very near to her heart. This is her continuation of it. It will be seen
that, besides complementing my thought, it responded remedially to her own mood:
–
“In a true mission of redemption, in the proclamation of a gospel to save, it is
the man who must preach; it is the man who must stand forward among the people;
it is the man who, if need be, must die. But he is not alone. If his be the
glory of the full noontide, his day has been ushered in by a goddess.
(p. 53)
His pulse quickens, He utters the word that works the miracle. Hail,
Mary, full of grace: Christ is thy gift to the world! Without thee He could not
have been; but for thine impulse He could have worked no mighty work. This shall
be the history of all time; it shall be the sign of the Christ. Mary shall feel;
Christ shall speak. Hers the glory of setting His heart in action; hers the
thrill of emotion to which His power shall respond. But for her He shall be
powerless; but for her He shall be dumb; but for her He shall have no strength
to smite, no hand to help. It is the seed of the woman who shall bruise the
serpent's head. The Christ, the true prophet, is her child, her gift to the
world. 'Woman, behold thy Son!’”
Such was the first intimation and the manner thereof, given us of the truth
subsequently revealed in plenitude, – the presence in Scripture of a mystical
sense concealed within the apparent sense, as a kernel in its shell, which, and
not the literal sense, is the intended sense. (1) As was later shown us in regard to the story of
the cursing of the fig-tree, that of the marriage in
(p. 54)
of Christ, and the conversion thereby of a
perfect philosophy into a gross idolatry. Meanwhile, the experience was a
further demonstration to us of the reality and accessibility not merely of the
world spiritual, but of the world celestial also, and of the high source of the
commission under which we had become associated together. It was also an
indication that as concerned ourselves our work appertained to the spiritual,
rather than to the social plane. Such application of it would follow in due
time. No other hypothesis that we could devise would account for the facts. Nor
could we imagine any source other than the Church invisible for an
interpretation so noble of the Scriptures of the Church visible.
Not that the hypothesis of an extraneous source accounted for all our
experiences. For besides receiving knowledge from such influences, there were
instances in which we actually saw and seemed to remember scenes, events, and
persons, long since vanished from earth, and felt at the time that it needed
only that the period of lucidity be sufficiently prolonged to enable us to
recover from personal recollection the whole history concerned.
I was somewhat surprised by finding
the first experiences of this nature, as well as certain others of an equally
high and rare order, occurring to me rather than to my colleague, of the
superiority of whose faculty and of whose primacy in our work I had no manner of
doubt. The explanation at length vouchsafed was in this wise. It was in order to
qualify me for recognising by my own experiences the reality and value of hers
when they should come. Not otherwise should I know enough to be able to believe.
It proved, moreover, to be
(p.
55)
part of the plan ordained to withdraw from me,
in a great measure, the faculty requisite for them, when I had become familiar
with them. The reason for according her such preference over and above the
superiority of her gifts will presently appear. It was another and an exquisite
illustration of the depth and tenderness of the mystical element underlying
Christianity as divinely conceived and intended.
The partial withdrawal from me of faculty just alluded to took place early in
1877, but not until I had undergone a thorough experiential training in its
varied manifestations. Among these were two which call for relation here, by
reason of their serving to show that nothing was withheld which might minister
to the completeness of the work set us. The first was as follows: –
Being seated at my writing-table, and meditating on the gospel narrative, with a
strange sense of being separated by only a narrow interval from a full knowledge
of all that it implied, I found myself impelled to seek the precise idea
intended to be conveyed by the story of the woman taken in adultery. No account
that I had read of it had satisfied me, least of all that which was proposed in
the Ecce
Homo of Professor Seeley, a book then recent and enjoying a repute which
filled me with a strong feeling of personal resentment. For his account,
especially of the feelings excited in Jesus by the sight of the accused woman,
revolted me by its inscription to Him of a sense of impropriety at once monkish
and conventional, and of a limitation of charity altogether incompatible with
(p. 56)
the abounding sympathy which was the essence of
His nature. It made Him that most odious of characters, a prude.
As I meditated, and in following my
idea I passed into a state which, though highly interior, was not sufficiently
interior for my purpose – for I wanted, so to speak, to see my idea – a voice audible only to the inner
hearing, yet quite distinct, said to me, “You have it within you. Seek for it.”
Thus encouraged, I made a further effort at concentration, when – to my utter
surprise, for I had no expectation or conception of such a thing – the whole
scene of the incident appeared palpably before me, like a living picture in a camera
obscura, so
natural, minute and distinct as to leave nothing to be desired, and, at the same
time, utterly unlike any pictorial representation. I had ever seen of it. Close
before me, on my right hand, stood the Temple, with Jesus seated on a stone
ledge in the porch, while ranged before Him was a crowd of persons in the
costumes of the country and the time; each costume showing the grade or calling
of its wearer. Standing together in a group in front of Him were the disciples,
and immediately beside them were the accusers, who were readily recognisable by
their ample robes and sanctimonious demeanour; and quite close to Him, between
Him and them, stood the accused woman. As I approached the scene, moving
meteor-like through the air, He was in the act of lifting Himself up from
stooping to write on the ground, and I had a perfect view of His face. He was of
middle age, but, to my surprise, the type was that of a Murillo, rather than a
Rafaelle, and the lower portion of the face was covered with a short, dark
(p.
57)
beard. The expression was worn and anxious, and
somewhat weary. The skin was rough as from exposure to the weather. The eyes
were deep-set and lustrous, and remarkable for the tenderness of their gaze. One
of the apostles, whom I at once recognised by his comparative youthfulness as
John, though his back was towards me as I approached, was in the act of bending
forwards to read the words just traced in the dust on the pavement; and, as if
drawn to him by some potent attraction, I at once passed unhesitatingly into him
as he bent forward, and tried to read the words through his eyes. Their exact
purport escaped me; but the impression I obtained was that they were unimportant
in themselves, having been written merely to enable Jesus to collect and calm
Himself. For He was filled with a mighty indignation, which was directed, not
against the accused woman, but against the by-standing representatives of the
conventional orthodoxies, the chief priests and Pharisees, her sanctimonious and
hypocritical accusers, – those moral vivisectors through whose pitilessness the
shrinking woman stood there exposed to the public gaze, while her fault was so
brutally blurted out in her presence for all to hear; for her attitude showed
her ready to sink with shame into the ground, and afraid to look either her
accusers or her Judge in the face. He, her Judge, also has heard it, and knows
that they who utter it are themselves a thousand-fold greater sinners than she,
inasmuch as that which she has yielded through exigency either of passion or of
compassion, has with them been a cold-blooded habit engendered of ingrained
impurity.
In contrast with them she stands out in His eyes
(p.
58)
an angel of innocence; and an overwhelming
indignation takes possession of Him, so that He will not at once trust Himself
to speak. His impulse is to drive them forth with blows and reproaches from His
presence, as once already He has driven the barterers from the
(p. 59)
meaning of the general move among these
self-appointed censors of morals? “They which heard Him, being convicted of
their own consciences, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest even unto
the last.” No wonder they crucified Him when they got their chance. And no
wonder that most of the ancient authorities omit all mention of the incident.
Even of His immediate biographers only he records it who is styled “the
Beloved,” and whose name, office, and character indicate him as the
representative especially of the love-principle in humanity.
Such were the impressions made on me by this vision while it lasted, and written
down at the time. And so strong in me was the feeling that I could similarly
recall the whole history of Jesus, .that I mentally addressed to the presences
which I felt, though I could not see, around me an inquiry whether I should then
and there begin the attempt. The reply, similarly given, was a decided negative
so far as that present time was concerned, but accompanied by an intimation that
our future work would comprise something of the kind; a prediction which was
duly fulfilled.
I found myself perplexed beyond measure to comprehend the modus operandi of this
experience.
(p. 60)
No explanation was forthcoming, whether from my
own mind or from my illuminators, until long afterwards; and when it came it was
in reference immediately to similar experiences received by my colleague, some
of which likewise involved corresponding personal recollections coinciding with
but surpassing mine. In the meantime the teaching given us comprised the
doctrine of reincarnation, stated so positively, systematically, and
scientifically that, when taken in conjunction with our experiences, we found
that it, and it alone, afforded a satisfactory explanation of them. And then it
was shown us that the method of the new Gospel of Interpretation, of which we
were the appointed recipients, was so ordered as to be itself a demonstration of
the truth of that doctrine, and that among the lives we had lived, which
qualified us for our mission, were those in which we had been in association
with Jesus and with each other. (1) Concerning this doctrine, the
motive for its suppression, and the fatal consequences thereof to the religion
of Christ, it will be time to speak when describing the results attained by us.
It is with our initial experiences – those which constituted our initiation –
that the present concern lies. There is one supreme experience in the spiritual
life, known to mystics as “the vision of Adonai,” or God as the Lord. The
reception of this vision by
(p. 61)
us was, we were assured, a conclusive proof that
nothing would be withheld that was necessary to our full equipment for a
complete work. Although described several times in the Bible as an actual
occurrence, it had failed to find any response in our own consciousness, more
than if it had no existence. Nor had it ever been the subject of intelligent
comment by any Bible-expositors known to us. Rather did it seem to have been
entirely passed over as a matter wholly apart from human cognition. Hence, when
it was vouchsafed to us, it was entirely without anticipation of its occurrence
or previous knowledge even of its possibility.
It was received first by myself, the
manner of it being as follows. I had observed that when I was following an idea
inwards in search of its primary meaning, and to that end concentrated my mind
upon a point lying within and beyond the apparent concept, I saw a whole vista
of related ideas stretching far away as if towards their source, in what I could
only suppose to be the Divine Mind; and I seemed at the same time to reach a
more interior region of my own consciousness; so that, supposing man's system to
consist of a series of concentric spheres, each fresh effort to focus my mind
upon a more recondite aspect of the idea under analysis was accompanied and
marked by a corresponding advance of the perceptive point of the mind itself
towards my own central sphere and radiant point. And I was prompted to try to
ascertain the extent to which it was possible thus to concentrate myself
interiorly, and what would be the effect of reaching the mind's ultimate focus.
I was absolutely without knowledge or expectation when I yielded to the impulse
to make the attempt.
(p. 62)
I simply experimented on a faculty of which I
found myself newly possessed, with the view of discovering the range of its
capacity, being seated at my writing-table the while in order to record the
results as they came, and resolved to retain my hold on my outer and
circumferential consciousness no matter how far towards my inner and central
consciousness I might go. For I knew not whether I should be able to regain the
former if I once quitted my hold of it, or to recollect the facts of the
experience. At length I achieved my object, though only by a strong effort, the
tension occasioned by the endeavour to keep both extremes of the consciousness
in view at once being very great.
Once well started on my quest, I
found myself traversing a succession of spheres or belts of a medium, the
tenuity and luminance of which increased at every stage of my progress; the
impression produced being that of mounting a vast ladder stretching from the
circumference towards the centre of a system, which was at once my own system,
the solar system, and the universal system, the three systems being at once
diverse and identical. My progress in this ascent was clearly dependent upon my
ability to concentrate the rays of my consciousness into a focus. For, while to
relax the effort was to recede outwards, to intensify it was to advance inwards.
The process was like that of travelling by will power from the orbit of Saturn
to the Sun – taking Saturn as representing the seventh and outermost sphere of
the spiritual kosmos, and the Sun its central and radiant point – with the
intermediate orbits for stepping-stones and stages, I trying
(p. 63)
the while to keep both extremes in view.
Presently, by a supreme, and what I felt must be a final, effort – for the
tension was becoming too much for me, unless I let go my hold of the outer – I
succeeded in polarising the whole of the convergent rays of my consciousness
into the desired focus. And at the same instant, as if through the sudden
ignition of the rays thus fused into a unity, I found myself confronted with a
glory of unspeakable whiteness and brightness, and of a lustre so intense as
well-nigh to beat me back. At the same instant, too, there came to me, as by a
sudden recollection, the sense of being already familiar with the phenomenon, as
also with its whole import, as if in virtue of having experienced it in some
former and forgotten state of being. I knew it to be the “Great White Throne” of
the seer of the Apocalypse. But though feeling that I had no need to explore
further, I resolved to make assurance doubly sure by piercing, if I could, the
almost blinding lustre, and seeing what it enshrined. With a great effort I
succeeded, and the glance revealed to me that which I had felt must be there.
This was the dual form of the Son, the Word, the Logos, the Adonai, the “Sitter
on the Throne,” the first formulation of Divinity, the unmanifest made manifest,
the unformulate formulate, the unindividuate individuate, God as the Lord,
proving by His Duality that God is Substance as well as Force, Love as well as
Will, feminine as well as masculine, Mother as well as Father.
Overjoyed at having this supreme
problem solved in accordance with my highest aspirations, my one thought was to
return and proclaim the glad news. But I had no sooner set myself to write down
the
(p. 64)
things thus seen and remembered, than I found
myself constrained to maintain regarding them the strictest silence, and this
even as regarded my fellow-worker; and all that I was permitted to say at that
time was, that under a sudden burst of illumination I had become absolutely
aware of the truth of the doctrine of the Duality in Unity of Deity to which
that in Humanity corresponds, both alike being twain in one. On seeking the
reason for the reticence thus imposed on me, I learned that the stage in our
work had not yet come when it could be given to the world, either with safety to
myself or with advantage to others; and it was necessary that my colleague
receive no intimation in advance of any experiences which were to be given to
her – of which this experience was one – in order that her mind might be wholly
free from bias or expectation. Only so would our testimony have its due value as
that of two independent witnesses.
In the following summer the same vision was vouchsafed to her in a measure and
with a fullness far transcending mine. (1)
On the occasion she had been
forewarned of something of unusual solemnity as about to occur, and prompted to
make certain ceremonial preparations obviously calculated to impress the
imagination. The access came upon her while standing by the open window, gazing
at the moon, then close upon the full. The first effect of the afflatus was to cause her to kneel and pray in a rapt
attitude,
(p. 65)
with her arms extended towards the sky. It
appeared afterwards, that under an access of spiritual exaltation, she had
yielded to a sudden and uncontrollable impulse to pray that she might be taken
to the stars, and shown all the glory of the universe. Presently she rose, and
after gazing upwards in ecstasy for a few moments, lowered her eyes, and,
clasping her arms around her head as if to shut out the view, uttered in tones
of wonder, mingled with moans and cries of anguish, the following tokens of the
intolerable splendour of the vision she had unwittingly invited: –
“Oh, I see masses, masses of stars! It makes me giddy
to look at them. O my God, what masses! Millions and millions! WHEELS of
planets! O my God, my God, why didst Thou create? It was by Will, all Will, that
Thou didst it. Oh! what might, what might of Will! Oh, what gulfs! what gulfs!
Millions and millions of miles broad and deep! Hold me! hold me up! I shall sink
– I shall sink into the gulfs. I am sick and giddy, as on a billowy sea. I am on
a sea, an ocean – the ocean of infinite space. Oh, what depths! what depths! I
sink – I fail! I cannot, cannot bear it!”
“I shall never come back. I have left my body forever.
I am dying; I believe I am dead. Impossible to return from such a distance! Oh,
what colossal forms! They are the angels of the planets. Every planet has its
angel standing erect above it. And what beauty! – what marvellous beauty! I see
Raphael. I see the Angel of the Earth. He has six wings, He is a God – the God
of our planet. I see my genius, who called himself A.Z.; but his name
(p. 66)
is Salathiel. Oh, how surpassingly beautiful he is! My genius is a male,
and his colour is ruby. Yours, Caro, is a female, and sapphire. They are friends
– they are the same – not two, but one; and for that reason they have associated
us together, and speak of themselves sometimes as, sometimes as We. It is the Angel of the Earth himself that is your genius and
mine, Caro. He it was who inspired you, who spoke to you. And they call me
'Bitterness.' And I see sorrow – oh, what unending sorrow do I behold! Sorrow,
always sorrow, but never without love. I shall always have love. How dim is this
sphere! …. I am entering a brighter region now. .... Oh, the dazzling, dazzling
brightness! Hide me, hide me from it! I cannot, cannot bear it! It is agony
supreme to look upon. O God! O God! Thou art slaying me with Thy light. It is
the Throne itself, the Great White Throne of God that I behold! Oh, what light!
what light! It is like an emerald? a sapphire? No; a diamond! In its midst
stands Deity erect, His right hand raised aloft, and from Him pours the light of
light. Forth from His right hand streams the universe, projected by the
omnipotent repulsion of His will. Back to His left, which is depressed and set
backwards, returns the universe, drawn by the attraction of His love. Repulsion
and attraction, will and love, right and left, these are the forces, centrifugal
and centripetal, male and female, whereby God creates and redeems. Adonai! O
Adonai! Lord God of life, made of the substance of light, how beautiful art Thou
in Thine everlasting youth! with Thy glowing golden locks, how adorable! And I
had thought of God as elderly and venerable! As if
(p. 67)
the Eternal could grow old! And now not as Man only do I behold Thee! For
now Thou art to me as Woman. Lo, Thou art both. One, and Two also. And thereby
dost Thou produce creation. O God, O God! why didst Thou create this stupendous
existence? Surely, surely, it had been better in love to have restrained Thy
will. It was by will that Thou createdst, by will alone, not by love, was it
not? – was it not? I cannot see clearly. A cloud has come between.
“I see Thee now as Woman. Maria is next beside Thee.
Thou art Maria. Maria is God. Oh Maria! God as Woman! Thee, thee I adore!
Marian-Aphrodite! Mother! Mother-God!
“They are returning with me now, I think. But I shall
never get back. What strange forms! how huge they are! All angels and
archangels. Human in form, yet some with eagles' heads. All the planets are
inhabited! how innumerable is the variety of forms! Oh! universe of existence,
how stupendous is existence! Oh! take me not near the sun; I cannot bear its
heat. Already do I feel myself burning. Here is Jupiter! It has nine moons! Yes;
nine. Some are exceedingly small. And, oh, how red it is! It has so much iron.
And what enormous men and women! There is evil there, too. For evil is wherever
are matter and limitation. But the people of Jupiter are far better than we on
earth. They know much more; they are much wiser. There is less evil in their
planet. Ah! and they have another sense, too. What is it? No; I cannot describe
it. I cannot tell what it is. It differs from any of the others. We have nothing
like it. I cannot get back yet. I shall never get back. I believe I am dead. It
is only my body
(p. 68)
you are holding. It has grown cold for want of me. Yet I must be
approaching; it is growing shallower. We are passing out of the depths. Yet I
can never wholly return – never – never!” (1)
The account given of the vision of
Adonai in Lecture IX. of The Perfect Way, was written solely from our joint experiences.
It was with an interest altogether novel in kind and degree that I now turned to
the Bible narratives of the same vision, and found that in the record of its
reception by the Elders of Israel, it is stated, as if in token of the power of
the spiritual battery with which Moses had surrounded himself, that no less than
seventy of his initiates were able to receive the vision without magnetic
reinforcement by the imposition of their master's hands. But, as we learnt from
our own manifold experiences, it does not follow that because there is no
imposition of visible hands, no extraneous aid is rendered. The seeker after God
cannot, even if he would, accomplish his quest alone; but always are there
attracted to him those angelic beings whose office it is, as ministers of God,
to sustain and illuminate souls by the imposition of hands invisible to the
outer senses. In her case such aid was palpable. There was no effort on her
part. And she held converse with those by whom she was upborne in her stupendous
flight.
When in due course the time came for
us to receive the ancient and long-lost Gnosis which underlay the sacred
religions and scriptures of
(p. 69)
antiquity, the following was given us, and we
recognised in it the original Scripture from which the opening sentences in
After defining the Elohim as
comprising the two original principles of all Being, “the Spirit and the Water,”
or Force and Substance, and bringing up the process whereby Deity proceeds into
manifestation to the point described in Genesis in the words, “And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of
the Waters. And God said,” – the utterance thus continues, –
Then from the midst of the Divine Duality, the Only
Begotten of God came forth:
Adonai, the Word, the Voice invisible.
He was in the beginning, and by Him were all things
discovered.
Without Him was not anything made which is visible.
For He is the Manifestor, and in Him was the life of
the world.
God the nameless hath not revealed God, but Adonai hath
revealed God from the beginning.
He is the presentation of Elohim, and by Him the Gods
are made manifest.
He is the third aspect of the Divine Triad:
Co-equal with the Spirit and the heavenly deep.
For except by three in one, the Spirits of the
Invisible Light could not have been made manifest.
But now is the prism perfect, and the generation of the
Gods discovered in their order.
Adonai dissolves and resumes; in His two hands are the
dual powers of all things.
He is of His Father the Spirit, and of His Mother the great deep.
Having the potency of both in Himself, and the power of things material.
(p. 70)
Yet being Himself invisible, for He is the cause, and not the effect.
He is the Manifestor, and not that which is manifest. That which is manifest is
the Divine Substance (1).
The reason for the suppression by the translators of the Bible of its numerous
affirmations of the Divine Duality, saving only those of Genesis I. 26, 27, was in due time disclosed to us; as also was the
extent of the loss to man through the elimination of the feminine principle from
his conception of Original Being, and the consequent perversion of the doctrine
of the Trinity, and therein of the true nature of Existence, in both its
aspects, Creation and Redemption.
footnotes
(39:1) In 1875. (Life
A.K. Vol. I. p. 73.)
(40:1) The book
was
England and Islam: or the Counsel of Caiaphas, which was published in
1877.
(43:1) This vision occurred in
(47:1) p. 41.
(52:1) E. and
(53:1) It is probable that E.M. intended
this statement to apply only to the N.T., or to the Gospels, because, before
February, 1874, when he first visited A.K. at her house (p. 2), she had received
in sleep “an exposition of the Story of the Fall, exhibiting it as a parable
having a significance purely spiritual” and E.M. certainly regarded the Biblical
Story of the Fall as “Scripture.” S.H.H.
(58:1) The expression of which the above is an
adaptation, had recently been applied by Mr. Gladstone to the Turkish power. For
the period was the eve of the Turco-Russian War; and Mr. Gladstone had found
vent for his strong sacerdotal proclivities by siding fiercely against the
priest-hating and prophet-venerating Turks, and demanding their expulsion from
Europe, very much on the plea that “it was good for Europe that one nation die
for the rest.” It was in recognition of the part thus played by him that I took
for the sub-title of my book (England and Islam) The
Counsel of Caiaphas. The book – which was written under a high degree of
illumination – contained an earnest appeal to Mr. Gladstone, which, if heeded,
would have saved the country from its subsequent humiliations. Among other
things I was clearly shown that the policy which sought to detach
(60:1) There is another fact, referred to
in
Life A.K., that must be taken into consideration in connection with
experiences of this nature, that is, “the survival for an indefinite period of
the images of events occurring on the earth, in the astral light, or memory of
the planet, called the anima mundi,
which images can be evoked and beheld.” (Life
A.K. Vol. I. p. 125.) S.H.H.
(64:1) This “Vision
of Adonai” by A.K. was merely referred to in the previous editions of this
book. I have extracted the following account of the most interesting part of it
from Life A.K. (Vol. I. pp. 193-196.). S.H.H.
(68:1) Speaking of this vision, E.M. says: – “Her
apprehension was not without justification; for her body was completely torpid,
and several hours passed before consciousness was fully restored to it.” (C.W.S. p. 283.)
(70:1)
This is one of the illuminations that were received by A.K., during the latter
part of 1878, “directly from the hierarchy of the Church Invisible and
Celestial.” Speaking of these illuminations, which “dealt with the profoundest
subjects of cognition,” E.M. says that he and A.K. found in them “a synthesis
and an analysis combined of the sacred mysteries of all the great religions of
antiquity, and the true origines of Christianity as originally and divinely intended,
together with the secret and method of its corruption and perversion into that
which now bears its name”; and they “were at no loss to recognise in them the
destined Scriptures of the future, so long promised and at length vouchsafed in
interpretation of the Scriptures of the past.” (Life
A.K. Vol. I. pp. 293, 294.) S.H.H.
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