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2. SOBRE A MAGREZA

            MY DEAR PSYCHE – The question contained in your letter is one which but few physicians have yet attempted to answer. No treatise, so far as I am aware, has appeared on the subject, medical and lay writers alike seem dumb to the appeals of the Attenuated, and even the vendors of patent medicines have not shown themselves equal to the occasion. Yet, surely, many people would be glad to know “how to grow fat,” and would, like yourself, willingly put into practice any reasonable system calculated to round their angles and so endow their figures with a graceful and symmetrical embonpoint.

            Well, I will undertake the task, and to the best of my ability will construct for your edification a code of simple rules, by observing which I believe you may in a few months’ time augment the proportions of your now somewhat too slender and aerial form.

            Naturally, you will expect to be told that the regimen to be pursued is exactly the reverse of that which I prescribed for Julia. Broadly speaking, this is the case; but it is quite necessary to specify the details of the treatment to be adopted, otherwise you would certainly omit some very necessary precautions, and would find yourself at a loss in regard to your choice of a suitable dietary. And first, let me point out to you that it is

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extremely difficult, in this era and centre of perpetual motion and constant excitement, to prescribe conditions favourable to an effectual fattening process. Of course, all other things being equal, country life is more conducive to embonpoint than any other; for in the country, hours are more regular, letters, telegrams, and similar worries less frequent, sleep more undisturbed and prolonged, and the general current of existence smoother and more peaceful in its flow than is possible elsewhere. The most favourable of all milieux for the development of adipose or fatty deposits is to be found in the repose and indolence of the Eastern harem. And, indeed, as of course you know, the life of the harem is especially arranged and directed with a view to the promotion and preservation of the plumpness of its inmates. The model Ottoman beauty is rotund, and even shapeless. European taste would deem her figure wholly unpresentable. Oriental ladies are fattened for matrimony, as we of this Western world fatten pigs for the market. And, for both ends, the means employed are substantially the same, – indolence of habit, frequent feeding, and absolute quiescence of mind. An animal of fidgety temper never fattens well; nor do nervous and anxious persons ever “put on flesh” to the same extent as those of an even and placid disposition. Worry and cerebral activity induce rapid oxidation of material, excess of secretion at the expense of the economy, and hence waste of tissue and attenuation. Almost all active, inventive, and conquering races are of lean habit, while inert and meditative nations exhibit a tendency to obesity. Of the first class the Yankee affords a good example; of the second, the Turk. And the “bearings” of these remarks, as the illustrious Captain Cuttle was wont sapiently to observe, “lies in the application thereof.”

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            The first step towards growing fat is, therefore, the encouragement of an easy and equitable temper, and this part of my prescription you will probably find by far the most difficult to carry into effect. It will not suffice to be placid, as it were, by “fits and starts;” you must endeavour to set up a fixed habit of placidity, avoiding fret and mental irritability as you would vinegar. For, indeed, worry is moral vinegar, the acrid action of which will effectually neutralise that of the oiliest and blandest regimen possible to devise. With this premise understood, I now proceed to the easier and more strictly hygienic rules of treatment necessary to be observed.

            You must retire early to rest, and lie in bed as late in the morning as, consistently with your duties, you feel yourself entitled to do. Before rising, take a cup of worm boiled milk, or of milk and cocoa, well sugared. Let your bath be tepid, and dress leisurely. At breakfast drink more boiled milk, chocolate, or cocoa; not tea or coffee. Eat mashed potato prepared with butter or cream, purée; or, if you prefer it, sweetened wheat or oatmeal porridge, the finer the better.Revalenta Arabica, or, preferably, the more expensive but far nicer Racahout des Arabes may be recommended as an occasional variation. I know of no food more delicious and delicate than this latter preparation, but it requires care in cooking. Bread, not too stale nor too coarse, should be eaten rather than toast, and the monotony of butter may be advantageously relieved by honey or cream cheese. At lunch, take as a beverage, slightly warmed milk, to which should be added an equal part of Apollinaris or soda water, unmixed milk being difficult of digestion and likely to cause considerable discomfort. Take care, too, that the milk has been previously boiled, a precaution that, under no circumstances, should be omitted. Cream,

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too, should be scalded before use. Do not eat meat at lunch, but take potatoes, either steamed or baked in their skins; eggs, poached, rumbled, or in omelettes; tapioca, sago, vermicelli or custard puddings, macaroni, cheese, salad served with plenty of oil, but no vinegar or pickles. At dinner, a glass or two of champagne will do you no harm, and may even assist and promote digestion. Begin with some vegetable soup, such as lentil, pea, potato, pumpkin, vermicelli, or carrot, made with a milk stock, and sweetened freely. Of fish you may eat plentifully, especially of cod, turbot, mackerel, and oysters. Flesh-meats are not commendable; eat sparingly of them, reserving your appetite for the puddings, sweetmeats, and fruits, in which you may freely indulge. Some of my patients, anxious to acquire a seemly plumpness of contour, have renounced the use of flesh-meat and poultry altogether, and adopt instead a diet composed of fish, eggs, soups, milk, vegetables, fruits, farinaceous meals, grains, and sweetmeats. They find this diet most satisfactory, and more than ample for their needs. Of all flesh-meats, bacon and ham are the most fattening, but other considerations are strongly against their use, and I do not therefore recommend them.

            Avoid all acid drinks, and patronise largely the sugary and oily forms of food. Eat sparingly of salt, but plentifully of mustard, which is a natural stimulant, and favourable to the processes of digestion. If you can take an occasional siesta after dinner, or earlier, do not deny yourself that luxury. Two great secrets of the science of fattening are these: – 1st. Eat very slowly, and masticate thoroughly every mouthful. 2nd. Let your meals be frequent. The harem ladies eat all day long; they amuse themselves with bonbons and dried fruits as English ladies do with embroidery. Take

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afternoon tea with plenty of cream and sugar in it at five o’clock, and a coke or two at the same time.

            Your daily exercise should be regular and moderate. Horse exercise is to be preferred to every other. But if you cannot ride, take an hour’s walk at a moderate pace along level ground, or should this again be impossible, at least be careful to avoid fatigue. Singing is a helpful form of exercise; it involves the introduction into the lungs of a large quantity of air, a habit of retaining it, and an energetic series of contractions of the expiratory muscles. Thereby the walls of the chest are rendered more elastic, and nutrition of tissue is accelerated by the activity of the pulmonary exchanges.

            When attenuation is excessive, when the ribs protrude, when the elbows and knees exhibit the shape of the articulation of the joint, and the face wastes, and the shoulder-blades and breastbone show themselves distinctly under the skin, then special medical advice should be sought, fur thinness so pronounced as this indicates disease. Your case, however, is probably far removed from the skeleton stage, and judicious attention to diet and habits of life will, no doubt, accomplish all that you wish. Remember, regularity must be your watchword. Everything must be done leisurely and with calm, all hurry and disturbance being calculated to interrupt and impair the orderly processes of digestion and assimilation.

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